Psalm
23:5a You prepare a table before me in the
presence of my enemies.
Conflict is natural to everyday life at home, work
or play. It is a human condition because we are people of different tastes,
abilities, passions and minds. If we ignore this reality then we become
vulnerable to frequent moments of conflict. Ignoring or unresolved conflict
compounds the effects of earlier problems and makes future conflict more
severe. Ignoring conflict reveals our thoughtlessness towards others and
towards ourselves.
You may feel inadequate about how to go about
resolving problems that come up but we are not without help. People experienced
in the Christian approach to conflict can assist you. The Bible is the best
resource to resolve problems and conflicts between people. It takes work, but
it is work that will reap dividends.
First, accept the conflict. Conflict is a truly
necessary ingredient in any relationship. Keep in mind that each of us brings a
sack full of “stuff” into our relationships. Fears, insecurities, hurts and
humiliations are the “stuff” we carry and will influence our response to the
problem and others.
Conflict should never be about winning or losing. As
Christians it should be about improving everyone involved. Disagreements should
never digress. That is to say that you must stay focused on the issue. It is
easy to attack the person or their behaviors that have no bearing on the matter
at the center of the conflict.
Finally, conflict needs to reach an
end that includes both parties voicing their “sorry” and a mutually agreed
solution. Compromise and bending may be required. But that is the life of the
Christian, seeking the best for others and living as servants to all.
