THE TESTIMONY: UNDERSTANDING
Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
I was like the Rich Young Ruler who came to Christ carrying all his wealth and proclaiming his own fulfillment of the Law. I did everything the world's view of church required. When our first child was born I began attending church. I listened to the sermons, agreed with the message and walked away each week feeling "good"! The messages seemed to tell me there was more to just agreeing and paying "lip service" to God's teaching through Christ. But I continued struggling with worldly priorities of wealth, status and meaning of life as the world and church were telling me. I was finding it harder to listen to the both voices in my head.
I came to a point where the ways of the world were not satisfying
my inner needs and desires. I turned on a Christian TV station and asked Christ to lead me. I told him I would try his way, but that I needed his help.
Struggles continue in my life as God molds me like clay, brings me into conformity to his Will not my own. It's not easy to relinquish control over your own life; to allow God to rule as Lord and Savior. I always try to hold back something for myself. Gently, God, through the gospel of Christ brings me along in knowledge and truth. Each day is a new beginning, a fresh start daily.