Proverbs
23:28-30 She lies in wait like a robber and
increases the traitors among mankind. Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has
strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of
eyes? Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine.
It is not often that we think about
formerly homeless clients as people suffering from grief. When they enter our
shelter programs most of our focus is on their having been living in the woods
and not being well provided for. Personal hygiene, regular meals, safe sleeping
arrangements and other material things are the first. Next we begin to focus on
behavioral issues and addiction symptoms. Most often, the question of grief and
its symptoms are never addressed.
This is problematic because many clients are leaving
a lifestyle and group of people for the last time. They have given up their
first love defined in many ways as: alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, independence,
self-centeredness, solitude, a marriage, lost job, all their material
possessions, and the list can go on. If we ignore the grief issues, then we
fail to truly meet them where they are. The result is talking and assuming
things about the client that are not true or of immediate concern.
From this list we can see that much has been lost in
the days, weeks, months or years prior to their arrival. Grief is a real and
major component in them at this time. Emotions will be running much of their
behavior, thinking and speaking. Being a good communicator, listening well and
displaying patience, mercy and grace will go far in helping the client make the
transition into the safe place of shelter life.
