Proverbs
19:11 Good
sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
People have told us in the past that we are to deny
or suppress our dark and undesirable emotions. Doing this, however, creates a
distorted personality. Denying emotions leaves us less of the person we were
made to be. The truth is that learning to cope with our feelings and negative
emotions will bring freedom and fulfillment to our lives.
“It is critical for a person to be aware of his own
feelings, including anger. Feelings are a valuable guide, a sixth sense, a tool
to help us evaluate what is happening around us. Losing our awareness of
feelings is as tragic as losing our sense of touch, taste, or smell. Many of
us, particularly those of us with religious backgrounds, have been robbed of
the right to negative feelings, especially the feeling of anger. This is
comparable to a psychological rape, in which a vital part of our humanity is
violated, leaving us with irreparable emotional damage. Only when we are aware
of our feelings are we able to respond to the inevitable conflicts in life
constructively.” (pg. 7, Overcoming Hurts & Anger)
At the mission we see many individuals who do not
know how to express their feelings, needs, and desires in healthy ways. These
people are either passive or aggressive in their behavior towards emotions. As
a result, they tend to mishandle anger and fuel the very emotion they seek to
avoid.
There are a few
things to understand about anger. First, you may have an anger problem even if
you don’t look, feel or seem angry. If you ignore your hurts and anger, they
will not go away. In fact, they may come back worse later. Thirdly, you cannot
solve your anger problems by just venting anger or letting it all out. Also,
you will pay a higher emotional price if you try to be a nice person and never
get angry at anyone. Lastly, if you properly express your hurts and anger to
the person you’re angry with, your relationship will not automatically suffer.
